Whether it’s a holy temple, natural wonder, or world-famous sunset or sunrise, there’s no escaping from the mass of humans consuming every memorable moment, once-in-a-lifetime experience, and Instagram story.  And as a human, I realize I’m part of the problem.

As part of the adventure tour, I bought into a finely curated itinerary that considered every detail: the transport to and from the hotel to activities and seasoned professional guides to inform us and navigate the experiences.  There are ice coolers of bottled water and fresh cold rags to wipe off sweat and grime when stepping in from exploring hot and dusty temples or sandy, wet caves.  And after freshening up and resting, we have dinner reservations at fun, locals-only eateries.  Every detail considered sounds perfect, right?  Well, not really, here’s why.

You see, at every temple, cave, and sunset, there are thousands of others having their once-in-a-lifetime holiday, too.  No travel itinerary builds in things like crowd surfing, car dodging or selfie-stick fencing.  Everywhere you go, you can’t escape the traffic getting there, the lines, or people waiting their turn.  Crowds vie for a spot to take the perfect selfie or group photo in which they can capture the moment they were promised without capturing the “real” moment they got… one with too many damn people.

I’ve enjoyed sharing beautiful photos of fantastic world wonders and places of historic significance.  Still, for most images, I went to extreme contortion and even, I hate to admit it, a selfie stick… oh, the shame of it all.  I often waited patiently until people cleared an area to take my pic.  Still, when that couldn’t be avoided, I used an AI-erasing app to make people disappear from my photos as if I were the only person there.  All of which perpetuate the false narrative that these unique places will transport you and take you away from the stress and trouble that wear you down.   But, in reality, vacations are a “Hunger Games” style, eat or be eaten competition for your right to rest and relaxation.

What you didn’t see in my reels were the mass of humanity at every temple, people in line to remove and store their shoes to enter a holy place, standing shoulder to shoulder, reaching around one another to snag a peaceful pic of Buddha, while trying to abide the pick-pocket warning signs by ensuring your phone and wallet are in front pockets.  Everything else zipped up tightly in a cross-body bag.  I didn’t post that many of the pics of Phi-Phi Islands were taken waterside because the beaches were so overcrowded with boats, we couldn’t dock without waiting for a half hour in the baking sun only to then fight three or four other boats for an open slot to anchor.  When we did manage to find a slice of beach at this “hidden” beach, we pissed off about 20 swimmers and snorkelers who were using that only open area of beach and ocean to get wet and cool off.  There was an audible groan when we approached because there was nowhere left to swim unless you dared swim between the mix of speedboats and long boats.  And don’t get me started about “Monkey Island”; it was so overcrowded that there were at least 12 humans with iPhones for every monkey on the beach.  I looked from the water at these monkeys, sitting on the beach or on a rock with at least six iPhones shoved in their faces.  Snap, snap, snap, turn landscape, snap, snap, now take video, flip, and take a selfie holding two fingers up (what in the hell does that even mean?!?).  You won’t see that shit show on Insta.  The entire scene made me so uncomfortable I just stopped getting off the boat.  I was disgusted with the tourists and with myself.  And I was angry about the damage we were doing to these beautiful places, not to mention we were ruining one another’s “get away from it all.”

I want to capture special moments like everyone else.  Still, when we filter out the absolute truth of it and portray an experience that is not possible, we do an injustice to ourselves and those we are sharing with.  I’ll remember this lesson as I tell my stories going forward.  Perhaps if more people knew the absolute truth of these get-away locations, it may fall off a bucket list or two, making more room for the natural inhabitants who made these places special.